The Acceptance

An acceptance is talked about a lot and interpreted in different ways. I’ll share my vision.

An acceptance is a statement of some fact. Without emotions, without evaluations, without reasoning about causes and effects, just as an accomplished fact of reality.

Here it started raining, and here I get angry, here the child wants attention, a neighbor is screaming nearby, the sun shone from above, and the mother smiled.

The perception of what’s happening as it is. As soon as a reasoning and various evaluations appear after the event, this is the end of acceptance:

• It’s raining — that’s disgusting, I don’t have an umbrella.
• I am angry — but damn them all, that’s too much!
• The child wants attention — I’m so tired and he is so disturbing, an anger rolls over.
• A neighbor screams — what a snappish woman, she tired me, something happened with her again.
• The sun shone — again the weather has changed, I can’t adapt in any way.
• My mom smiled — she probably wants something from me.

Of course, you don’t have to accept everything. If they shout at you or even hit, offer you to eat a toadstool or to drink water when you already gurgles (in the latter case, notice that the water is a good thing itself) — it’s normal to refuse and resist. But try to accept the fact of what is happening. State it for yourself.

For example, I want a candy. It does not have to be eaten, taken orally. It is important to realize the very fact — I want a candy. From this state — acceptance of a fact — it is much easier to manage reality, choose an appropriate option from their variety:

• I want a candy and will eat it.
• I want a candy, but I won’t eat it because this candy is superfluous.
• I want a candy, but my goal is to give up sweets and watch what will happen — so I don’t eat it.
• I want a candy and will eat it, but not now.
• I want a candy, and I understand that this is my consolation in a hard situation.

And when you choose transparently and honestly — there is no violence in this. There is an agreement with youself and multivariance of actions.